


Just The Same But Brand New

by Ogygia



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Drunk Dancing, Gender Issues, Inadvisable crushes on your boss, Lorelei POV, Multi, Non-Binary Zer0, Nonbinary Character, Other, They/Them Pronouns for Zer0 (Borderlands), Trans Lorelei, Yearning, You ever yearned?, non-canon pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 10:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ogygia/pseuds/Ogygia
Summary: A mix up with Rhys' calendar leaves the Atlas gang scrambling to prepare for an upcoming corporate party at Anshin. Someone gets shaved, Zer0 wears a bowtie, and Mrs. Tediore really knows how to tear up the dance floor.
Relationships: Lorelei/Rhys/Zer0
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	Just The Same But Brand New

**Author's Note:**

> There's sort of a canon reason for how Lorelei ends up working for Rhys, but this is my very clumsy and rushed re-imagining of how the Atlas ship gets together (literally and figuratively speaking!) long before the Maliwan war ever happens. Please note that a lot of Zer0's speech is not in perfect haiku mostly because they are GAY.
> 
> And another thing! There is a log that canonically implies Lorelei is considering transitioning, so this is just me going hogwild with those implications.

It’s late when Lorelei gets the page from her boss, so terribly late that she’s already washed the product out of her hair and slipped into her comfy pants with the hole over one arsecheek and, really, how does Rhys always manage to catch her when she’s about to put on an episode of _Peculiar Subjects_? Her holoshow watchlist has indefinitely been on hold ever since he hired her, and it’s a little maddening trying to avoid spoilers for an entire bloody year straight.

Her device buzzes _again_.

_My office in 15, PLEASE!!!_ reads the message. She can practically hear his strained little voice in her head, which just makes her smile a little cruelly to herself.

_Is it an actual emergency?_ Lorelei yawns as she types. _Or did you get your tie caught in your desk drawer again? Told you to just cut it off when it happens next._

The second she puts her ECHOpad down it vibrates again, the screen flicking on as if begging her to pay attention.

_Don’t really like the implication that my ties are never an emergency, but yes, this is a cry for help. See you SOON?_

Well, who is she to deny Rhys anything in his time of need? After smelling the crotch, she changes back into her jeans, then throws a puffy jacket on over her thin t-shirt, zipping it up all the way to her chin to keep the chilly night at bay.

_Right, keep your hair on, mate_ is her final response before she’s out the door and onto the Meridian streets.

*

See, Lorelei wasn’t always Rhys’ P.A.; in fact, not too long ago she was nothing more than a definitely-not-paid-enough barista hopped up on “free” Arcturian Superblack and caramel syrup samples, which meant she slurped them behind the bar whenever she thought no one was looking. And back when Rhys was _just_ the new oddball CEO of Atlas instead of her new oddball friend, she figured all his midday coffee runs had to do with his party line of “lifting employees up on the shoulders of Atlas” or whatever. Being seen amongst the common folk instead of booting his workers around had to be good for his image.

Then she realized it was because he didn’t have anyone to boot around in the first place.

“Back when I was a simple code monkey, I’d have been all over revising this data management system,” he had said completely unprompted as she brought him his third cappuccino of the afternoon, tapping away furiously on his ECHOpad. “But I just don’t have the hours in the day to keep up with the new software, and it’s so hard to find good help— oh, come on? A black screen? Argh! What does that even mean?”

“I reckon it means…” Lorelei pushed the coffee saucer closer to him, careful to not disturb her latte art of a robot winking. “You need a break, Mr. Strongfork. And also to charge your device. I’ve got a charging pad in the back, if you’d like?”

On the verge of frustrated tears, Rhys lifted the cappuccino cup with both hands and peered within it. “Heh, would you look at that… It’s a cute little robot, and it’s—” He sniffed delicately. “—winking at _me_. How did you do that?”

She shrugged. “Ohhh, a lot of practice and a lot of boredom, I reckon? Anyone could do that with enough of those on their hands.”

“This is going to sound strange, I know, but I’m in a really vulnerable place right now,” Rhys began in a tiny voice, “and I have this stupidly expensive espresso machine I can’t figure out how to use, and it’s just sitting in my office staring me down every time I’m in there, _challenging_ me and… Look, maybe you could just do this, permanently, for Atlas?”

Lorelei blinked. “Hang on, you… want me to be _your_ personal barista?”

“I could find other stuff for you to do, too! Uhhh, scheduling? Correspondence? Am I getting warmer?”

She shook her head and wrinkled her nose as if he had waved something foul under it. “Boring. Sorry, don’t want to be behind a bloody desk all day.”

“No? Okay, okay, nothing too business-y.” Rhys scratched the back of his head. “What about life management? Running errands, shopping, that sort of thing?”

“Well, it does seem like your personal life needs all the help it can get,” she mused, rubbing her chin. “I’ll take it.”

“Thank… you…?” said Rhys uncertainly. “When can you start?” He took a deep breath. “Sorry, am I moving too fast?”

“No, no, not at all.” Lorelei stood up, ripping her stupid apron and hat off. “Murray?” she yelled at the back of the shop, customers be damned. “I’m fucking quitting! See ya never!”

*

She catches Zer0 in the elevator on the way up to Rhys’ office, which is always funny somehow. Just those little reminders that Zer0, despite being shrouded in almost complete mystery, is more or less the same as the rest of them and has to walk anywhere a Fast Travel won’t go. There _was_ that one time she saw Zer0 taking the bus and waved, but they refused to acknowledge it happened the very next day. Still funny.

“Heeey, Zer0!” She gives them a lazy salute. “You know what this is all about then?” 

Zer0 shakes their head, a row of red question marks projecting from their helmet. “I have, uh, suspicions, though I'd prefer to hear news,” they extend their hand as the elevator dings, the doors sliding open to reveal a harried Rhys, “from the man himself.”

_Oh, no_. Rhys is looking like a proper _mess_. His tie is barely hanging on for dear life, his shirt is inhumanly crumpled and untucked, and his gelled hair, normally coiffed to smooth perfection, has settled into two deep grooves where he must have passed his hands over about a hundred times. 

“What took you so long?” he demands, his voice already hitting that strangely familiar and screechy level of panic. 

“Uh.” Lorelei lifts her wristwatch. It’s only been about seventeen minutes since her last message. “Came as fast as I could, chief.”

“As did I,” Zer0 points out calmly. They brush past Rhys and, fingers poised over the sword handle across their back, begin to inspect the office for… something dangerous, Lorelei imagines, because that’s what they’re good at: Being mysterious _and_ deadly to boot.

“Nevermind, you’re both here now, and that’s all that matters. Just the only two people on this damn planet that I can trust with my life anymore.” Rhys inhales sharply through his nose and then lets it all out in an explosive rush via his mouth, which she guesses is supposed to be calming for him only he’s not doing it right at all. In fact, he’s starting to hyperventilate a little.

“Whoa there! Slow down, Rhys, why don’t you take a _real_ deep breath—” She leans forward and places her hand squarely on his chest. “_Iiin_ through the nose and hold it. Got it?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and does exactly as she tells him, breathing in deeply. 

She gives his puffed up chest a gentle pat. “Ya feel that?” With a wretched expression, he nods. “Good, now, _ooout_ through the mouth.”

He’s a little too enthusiastic on the release and gets some spit on her cheek, but it’s fine, really, because he’s looking calmer already. 

“Now start from the beginning,” Lorelei prompts with a twirl of her fingers.

“Oh, right. Um… You know how I fired Cynthia last week…” Rhys begins nervously, and one hand goes straight into his hair groove again.

“Aw, what! Not Cynthia, I liked her a fair bit!” Rhys doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Did… no one else?” She looks between him and Zer0 tentatively. “She always brought me coffee and biscuits, the _good_ shit, too.”

Zer0 snorts from the corner of the room where they’re currently slapping a curtain with the flat of their blade. “She wasn’t the worst, although her clerical skills…” A thumbs down flashes across their faceplate. “Were truly lacking.”

“See! That’s exactly why I had to let her go!” Rhys protests, hands flying everywhere wildly. “She was a sweet person but sweet doesn’t exactly cut it. She had me in like, three meetings a day, and was getting _those_ mixed up in my calendar, too. It was nuts; I wasn’t getting any real work done because I was so busy apologizing to everyone for looking like, I don’t even know? A guy that’s really, really incompetent.”

“A tosser,” Lorelei supplies helpfully.

Rhys just stares at her, _wounded_.

“All right, all right!” Lorelei holds her hands up placatingly. “I still don’t understand how this is a grand sort of emergency, though, unless we’re all here in the middle of the night to stop you from hiring your fourth secretary in as many months.”

“Oh, please, believe me,” says Zer0, and anyone else would be smirking the way they stalk back and stash their sword again, “I’ve tried my best to stop him, but he won’t listen.”

Rhys laughs, and then laughs some more, until it turns into this pathetic sort of groan under his breath. “Listen, remember that big shindig with Anshin next month? Well, according to Cynthia’s lovely handiwork, at least I _thought_ I had a month to prepare. Jeez, maybe have _some_ new product ready to schmooze with, you know? I’m really trying to break into the healthcare market here, but it’s tough—”

Lorelei’s heart plummets into her arse. “Rhys, back it up. When _is_ the Anshin shindig?” 

He cringes, as if it physically pains him to admit what he’s about to say. “Tomorrow. Tomorrow night, to be exact.” 

_Fucking hell_.

Now Lorelei is running a hand through her hair, but she’s got no gel in it to make it look exceptionally mucked up like _someone_ around here. “No wonder your knickers were all in a twist.”

“That’s why I called you guys.” Rhys puts a hand on Lorelei’s shoulder, and then Zer0’s, gently bringing them both in for a weird sort of huddle-slash-hug. “You’re the only ones I know can do this last minute.”

“Well, what _can_ we do?" asks Lorelei, her head firmly wedged against Zer0’s armpit now. “Just say the word, Rhys.”

“Uh, Lorelei, please don’t kill me.” Rhys squeezes her a little tighter, as if trying to preemptively restrain her with a gentle headlock. “But as the approximately human woman-shaped one of you two, you’re gonna need to be my date for the big night.”

Lorelei blinks. _Woman_, huh? She supposes she is one, even though something sharp twists in her stomach at hearing it out loud. “Why can’t Zer0 be your arm candy? They’ve got legs for days.”

Sputtering wordlessly, Rhys turns a violent shade of red. 

“I’m, uh, not one for parties,” Zer0 coughs delicately, despite the fact that Lorelei is pretty sure they don’t even need to breathe.

“It’s cool, I know this, and I’ve got you covered.” Rhys pokes Zer0 in their chest. “You’ll obviously be my personal bodyguard and best bro for the evening. With the two of you by my side, no corporate assassins would even think about looking my way, you know?” He sighs contentedly to himself. “Wow, I’m actually feeling so much better about all this.”

Except a thought just occurred to her. “There’s just one teensy little problem,” says Lorelei.

Rhys smiles nervously. “And what’s that?”

She points at the tear in her jeans, exposing a hairy patch of knee. “Do I have to shave my legs for this?”

*

The answer is yes, yes she does, but at the very least she gets to do it in the comfort of Rhys' penthouse, in a bathtub bigger than her kitchen. 

“When are you gonna buy _me_ a penthouse?” Lorelei jokes, propping her leg up on the rim of the tub as she scrapes a razor clumsily over her shin. She’s stripped down to her sports bra and boxers for this, and Rhys is torn between trying to not stare _and_ keep her from bleeding out in his bathroom.

“Why, do you want one? I feel like you probably deserve one. What am I paying you nowadays anyway?” 

Lorelei shrugs. “Enough. I mean, the view is spectacular, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not really that kind of a bloke. Gotta make my own way—” A new streak of blood appears. “Oops, can you hand me some more loo paper?”

“Loo, that’s toilet, right? Still... getting the hang of that…” He quickly obliges, shoving a fistful of paper at her and squeaking under his breath when he almost grazes a tit. “By the way, if you're not careful with that razor I’m taking it away from you. Razor privileges _revoked_ in Casa de Strongfork.”

Lorelei snorts and goes right on hacking at the forest on her legs. “All right, _mum_.”

“I’m serious, Lorelei! I’d prefer the hairy legs look to you being criss-crossed with nicks. Gotta be honest, all that blood is making me woozy.”

“Nuh-uh.” She wags the razor at him. “I saw the dress you’ve got picked out for me on the way in, and that’s a strictly hairless job. ‘Sides, I don’t _want_ to make you look bad. Corporate types have a funny way of looking at people, and if I’m your _date_...”

Rhys chuckles softly. “There’s no way you can make me look worse than I make myself look on a daily basis, trust me. Although maybe it wouldn’t hurt if you let me, uh, take over the shaving from here on out.”

Take over the _what_? Lorelei can only stare in astonishment for what feels like a full minute. 

“Rhys, are you asking to shave my legs for me?”

He fidgets with the fingers on his robotic hand. “What? I’m good at it! It’s really not that weird—”

“Uh, yeah, it’s a bit weird! What do you even shave? Your face is like an impossibly smooth baby’s bum.”

Rhys runs a hand over said baby-bum-smooth jawline. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m _that_ good, baby! Been shaving since I was like, ten years old. Us Strongforks are a surprisingly hairy people. Now give that thing here.” Rolling up his sleeves, he settles onto his knees beside the tub and opens his palm expectantly. 

Lorelei laughs incredulously. “Can’t believe you’re doing this but all right, knock yourself out, mate.” She slaps the razor into his hand and leans back to make room for his arm.

It _is_ as weird as she imagined it would be, her bazillionaire boss gently scraping a razor down each of her legs, but he seems to have the right idea about it, as it’s a much more painless procedure under his experienced hands, and she’s looking less like a wild jabber already.

They’re both so focused on it Lorelei almost forgets what’s really been on her mind.

“Hey, Rhys?” she asks softly.

He rinses the blade off and makes another pass. “Yeah?”

“Do you really see me as, you know, a bird?”

Rhys looks at her like she just grew a second head. “No? I’d say you’re pretty obviously a mammal?”

She can’t help but laugh at that, giving his shoulder a little slap. “I mean a woman, Rhys! Not a real bird.”

“Oh.” He falls silent for a long minute, save for the quiet sounds of the task at hand. “Before I answer, can you tell me if there _is_ a right answer?”

Lorelei shakes her head. “No right answer. I’m just curious.”

“Well, I mean, yeah? Was I supposed to… not?” Rhys abruptly looks horrified, and then plunks his face down right on her foamy knee with a quiet groan. “Oh, no, I’m forgetting something important, aren’t I?”

“Rhys, _no_, not at all. This one is so not on you.” She gingerly strokes the top of his head. “It’s just… I’d been thinking for a long time, even before you hired me on, that maybe… I’m not who you or anyone really thinks I am.”

His face comes away white with shaving cream and dotted with loose hair. “It’s about the dress, isn’t it? I am _so_ sorry for not listening better, we still have time to get you a new outfit—”

She puts a finger on his lips, and even then it takes him a full thirty seconds to stop blathering. “Look, it’s not about the stupid—okay, it’s a _little_ about the stupid dress, I think, but more that you thought, despite everything else about me, that I would _have_ to or _want_ to wear it, being a, well, a woman.”

“And you’re not into dresses,” Rhys points out, slowly, as if trying to mentally work out a particularly complicated math equation.

“I don’t _mind_ them some of the time, it’s just that the dress doesn’t even have pockets, mate.” She laughs quietly to herself, to mask all the weird anxiety bubbling up in her belly. “And this is just one long-winded way of telling you I don’t even really think I’m a woman anymore.”

“Oh. Oh! _Ohhh_.” _Now_ he gets it. “Like Zer0, or, hm, Zer0 was never a woman either, but you know what I mean.”

She nods. “A bit like Zer0, yeah. Maybe in the other direction, though.”

“What do you need?” Rhys puts a slippery hand on her knee which is probably supposed to be comforting but just comes off, well, pretty wet. She slips her hand over his anyway. “I can find someone else for the Anshin thing, if you need the time, just… say the word, okay?”

“The thing is I _like_ my name, it’s just everything else I’m a bit iffy on, you know? Don’t really know how I want to be called, or look, or…” She lets out a long sigh. “It’s a mess in here, I’ll tell you that much.”

“We can start small, then, I can do that.”

Lorelei bites her lip. “Yeah? Could you… try calling me ‘he’, or something? Or is that too much?”

“No way! That’s the least I could do.” Rhys thinks about it for a moment. “Um, so, I really, really like Lorelei, I think he’s a pretty cool guy, who I rely on probably way too much, he’s just so good at everything I’m not. I guess I wish... I could be more like him? How’s that?”

Lorelei, slick as a dolphin, throws both his legs over the bathtub edge and slips into Rhys’ arms, teary-eyed and laughing as he knocks him back onto the bathmat. “It’s bloody perfect!”

*

“How did you do it?” asks Lorelei, poised on his toes in front of the mirror as he carefully outlines each of his eyes in a dark brown eyeliner. Not rocking his usual look in the slightest, but he’s not trying to shock anyone at the party tonight.

In the mirror beside him, a large red question mark flickers in front of Zer0’s helmet. “Would love to answer,” they tell him evenly, trying and failing to sort out a neat little black bow tie even with their long, agile fingers. “But I’ll need you to clarify, uh, what it is I did…” Then, softly to themselves, “_Damnit_.”

“Oh, I meant, how’d you get everyone to start calling you ‘they’?”

“Ah, that.” Zer0 hums softly, and it’s oddly soothing, like a cat purring. “Under threat of pain, torture and/or dismemberment, people fall in line.”

Lorelei snorts. “Surely you didn’t need to threaten everyone?”

“Some more than others,” they admit with a nod. “Then there are some people, like Rhys. They just understand.”

“He’s really good at that, isn’t he?” Lorelei sighs and finishes blending his eye make-up into something decidedly smoky. There’s a warm, tingling sensation in his belly just thinking about Rhys. “You’d think he wouldn’t be, because he’s got all that money, _and_ he can be downright nutty at times, but, dunno, he tries to make things better.”

“That he does,” Zer0 agrees.

“And what about you, Zer0? How can I make things better?” He eyes their half-finished bowtie, and then beckons them forward with a curl of his fingers. “I’ll fix that right up for ya, mate, don’t you worry your pretty little head.”

Zer0 makes a strangled noise, a streak of red flashing across their helmet, but stoops down to give him access to their neck. “Do not laugh at me,” they warn softly. “I'm trying to look decent… on behalf of, uh, Rhys.”

“And not Atlas?” Lorelei teases, quickly untying the knotted mess at their throat. “You know, that big, fancy company we’re supposed to be representing tonight?”

“Hmmm. _Perhaps_ Atlas as well, but mostly the first one.”

“I get it, I get it. You, erm, want to make him proud in particular, right? Because he’s… he’s your friend, and you care about what happens to him, or… you just care about him, I guess.”

Zer0 nods carefully, and the red streak returns, like a stubborn blush. 

“Me too,” says Lorelei, his own cheeks flushing, and he gives Zer0’s bowtie a final tug.

*

The three of them make quite the pretty picture as they step off Rhys’ personal cruiser, Rhys and Zer0 in their black tie best, and Lorelei in a deep red dress that matches the trademark Atlas red featured on Rhys’ cybernetic arm. He offers Lorelei and Zer0 each of his arms, and together they make their way through the expansive rock garden surrounding Anshin headquarters.

“You know, I’ve never been invited here before, but this place is amazing,” says Rhys, gently leading them past a rock feature imitating a small mountain in a sea of gravel. “Would you just look at… I don’t even know what that is? But it’s impressive, isn’t it?”

“You might take some notes.” Zer0 delicately rests a gloved hand against Rhys’ bicep. “To spruce up our headquarters, with quiet beauty.”

“Yes, great idea! But only if we get a cool pond like _that_ one,” Lorelei says, dragging them both over to look at the colorful fish darting about in the water’s depths. “Oh, they’re so cute, Rhys, can we _please_ get some koi?”

Rhys chuckles. “I mean, I can definitely think about it. Let’s worry about this party first, all right?”

White lanterns with the Anshin logo lead them deeper into the garden, where the function is in full swing. There’s Monty Jakobs and his son, already belligerently drunk by the looks of it, and Mrs. Tediore in a fierce conversation with Mr. Blake, though they’re both smiling acidly through gritted teeth, as well as at least half the Katagawa family menacing anyone that gets too close to the chocolate fountain.

“Yeesh, tough crowd,” mutters Rhys, but he sends Zer0 off to do some recon with a nod, and then leads Lorelei onto the paved ground where some of the others have gathered for a spot of light dancing.

“Shouldn’t we be rubbing shoulders with the elite?” Lorelei teases quietly, quirking his eyebrow. To be completely honest, he’s relieved they’re _not_, and the dancing is much more his speed, even if it _is_ a bit of a stodgy routine from the old days.

Rhys pulls him a little closer as they turn around the dance floor. “Nah, not yet. I wanna work ‘em up first. Have everyone talking about Rhys Strongfork and his mysterious dance partner, who is looking… really beautiful tonight, I might add.” He pauses, looking faintly embarrassed. “Handsome? Sightly? Help me out here.”

Lorelei snorts and rests his head against Rhys’ chest. “Beautiful is just fine. Reckon I’ve always wanted to be a pretty boy.”

“Excellent! Pretty boy it is!” With a delighted laugh, Rhys leads them in a slow twirl.

“Yeah? That doesn’t bother you at all, does it, dancing with…” Lorelei clears his throat and drops his voice. “You know, not a girl?” 

Rhys blinks. “Of course not. Should it?”

Lorelei shakes his head. “I imagine it bothers _some_ people, in _some_ systems. I never had any reason to suspect you’d be the same, though, I just... thought I’d ask. Clear the air and all that.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Rhys gives Lorelei a gentle squeeze against his body, and he finds himself melting into the security of that one brief hug before trying to look more composed in front of the richest people in the galaxies. “Whatever it takes, I want you to know I’m on your side, okay? I can introduce you however you want to be introduced tonight.”

“Woof, that means a lot, really it does,” admits Lorelei, peering up at him carefully. “But I think that might be a much, everyone suddenly knowing. We’ll play it by ear, I guess?”

“You got it.” Rhys holds Lorelei out and gives him a little spin before letting go of his hand, and then the music disappears below the chatter of the crowd. “Okay, think that’s our cue. I’m gonna nab us some bubbly, keep an eye out for Zer0 and anything funny, all right?”

Lorelei gives him a lazy salute. “Aye, aye, chief.” 

The second Rhys leaves his side, though, Lorelei feels very, _very_ exposed. Literally, because his arms and the upper part of his chest are bare, save for the miniaturized storage deck disguised as a glowing pendant around his neck where he’s stashed a rifle, and figuratively, because every uppercrusty CEO and their ilk are like sharks swimming in a shallow stretch of ocean, desperate for a drop of blood.

Speaking of sharks, one of the Katagawas is headed this way with two champagne flutes.

“You must be Rhys’ plus one,” says the man, smiling in a strange way that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I noticed you looked a bit parched out here, if I may be so bold.”

He lifts one of the glasses, which Lorelei inspects at lightning speed for anything off before taking it. 

“Fortune favors the bold, isn’t that a saying?” Lorelei asks, keep his voice light, then takes the tiniest of sips. It’s great champagne, though, loads better than anything he could afford on his own. “Thanks a lot, mate. Don’t think I recognize you, though, just that you’re one of Maliwan’s, right?”

“Ah, yes, you would be correct. Katagawa will do, Katagawa Jr., that is.” He extends a long-fingered hand, and Lorelei politely shakes it, even though his skin feels as eerily cold as the smile on his smarmy face.

“Just Lorelei on my end, no need for formalities, eh?”

Katagawa lets out a fake little laugh. “Of course. We’re all friends here. Or…” His bright eyes slide around the party, landing on Rhys, who’s been waylaid by Mrs. Tediore. “We _will_ be.”

Well, that’s not bloody creepy at all, is it? Lorelei hands his drink off, giving the waiter a bit of a pleading look that goes ignored. Guess he’ll have to take matters into his own hands, then.

“Say, Katagawa, what is it you do exactly?” asks Lorelei, gently putting a hand on Katagawa’s arm. He turns them away from Rhys, quickly glancing about the crowd for Zer0, who is busy prowling on the edges of the gathering. There’s a casual flick of his wrist, and Zer0 nods from across the space, doubling down on their new target. None the wiser, Katagawa looks surprised by the sudden attention, and then strangely conflicted, simultaneously one part mildly disgusted _and_ one part interested. No doubt he can smell the poor on Lorelei from a stone’s throw away.

“Head of Mergers and Acquisitions,” he replies smoothly, slipping a business card from the inner pocket of his jacket and into Lorelei’s hand. Lorelei gives it a cursory glance before stashing it in his bra. “We’ve actually made a few offers of a buyout but your…” He trails off, lifting a well-manicured brow meaningfully at Lorelei.

“Uh, my boss!” Lorelei can feel his cheeks turning red. “Rhys is just my boss.”

The look on Katagawa’s face is one of a man utterly unconvinced, but he presses on. “Right, your _boss_; he just can’t be persuaded down from that shiny new Atlas throne, can he?”

“Yeah, well, he’s worked hard for it, hasn’t he?” There’s a slightly defensive note in Lorelei’s voice. “Shouldn’t he be a bit, dunno, protective of what he’s done?”

Katagawa rolls his eyes as if Lorelei just said something impossibly childish. “It’s not enough to work hard. You have to work _smart_, too. I’d like to think me and Rhys have that in common, which is why he’d be a perfect fit for the Maliwan family.”

“No offense, mate, but I don’t think you know the first thing about Rhys.”

That, apparently, is a very wrong thing to say, because Katagawa’s eyes flash, possibly literally with the dark ECHOeye installed in one socket. “No offense taken,” he says sharply, and for the first time that light, breezy veneer to his words is stripped right off. “I don’t expect someone like _you_ to understand what people like us have.”

Lorelei folds his arms over his chest. “Someone like _what_? Go on, then, Junior, use your big boy words.”

Katagawa’s lip curls, a snarl starting in his throat, but just as quickly the music swells over the conversation again, so Lorelei grabs him around the waist and pulls them into a clumsy waltz, following in the footsteps of the nearby dancers.

“Listen up, Mr. Maliwan,” he whispers furiously against Katagawa’s chest. “I don’t care how many bloody gold-plated star-yachts you’ve got in your garage, Rhys ain’t selling, he may not be like me, but he’s certainly not _like_ you.”

Katagawa laughs darkly. “What’s it like, being so naive? Atlas isn’t a legacy company, you don’t have generations of resources built up to stop us if we… Hm, think I’ll hold onto that one, actually. Besides, if it’s not Maliwan at your door, it’ll be someone else, someone bigger, someone _stronger_.” He brushes his hand down Lorelei’s spine, making him shudder in disgust. “You could use someone like Maliwan looking out for you when that day comes, don’t you think?”

“Whatever you think you’ve got planned, bring it on, wanker,” Lorelei says between gritted teeth. “We’re not scared.”

Katagawa tut-tuts under his breath, and once again his smile isn’t quite right, the way it glints like a blade under the light. “Oh, but you really should be.”

*

Lorelei spends the rest of the evening dancing with Rhys, then Zer0, _then_ lets the two of them get on with it in a dance as he’s swung into the arms of Mrs. Tediore, who is downright terrifying in her aggressive Demeterian niceness but tipsy enough to lead Lorelei in some proper dancing and none of the awkward waffling about from earlier. Before she’s called off by her entourage, she winks and slips her business card into Lorelei’s bra, and really, it all leaves Lorelei wondering exactly what _Mr._ Tediore thinks of all this.

Eventually he finds himself by another one of the vast koi ponds on the property, just beyond the glow of the garden lights. He’s got his stupid heels off, flexing his sore toes over the water, watching as the fish eagerly pop up to inspect his feet.

“Sorry, don’t got any fish munch for you, so don’t go biting me now, all right?” he tells them a bit wearily.

There comes a terribly light, barely perceptible set of footsteps across the stones and grass. “Why don't you try this?” says Zer0, opening their hand to reveal a handful of crushed crackers. A quick heart flashes over their helmet. “Uh, a light snack between us. Don't tell Anshin, though.”

“Ha, all right, Zer0, coming through with the fish munch, _yes_.” Lorelei eagerly sweeps half the crumbs into his palm and then stretches an arm out over the pond, sprinkling it amongst the hungry koi. “Get in here, mate, they’re happy to see us.”

Zer0 huffs with amusement. “Very well,” and neatly drops into a crouch beside him.

“I’m happy to see you, too, you know.” Lorelei gently nudges them with his shoulder, which makes that little heart flicker over Zer0’s face again. “Tonight was… well, nice might be overdoing it, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you let your hair down like that.”

“My _hair_?” Zer0 huffs again.

Lorelei grins. “Oh, come on, you know what I mean. You can’t even get drunk like the rest of us, which makes it a bit more special, I reckon.”

“Oh, you may be right.” Zer0 dusts the rest of the crumbs from their hands. “I've never felt so close to... Hm, well, anyone?”

“Yeah?” Flushed, Lorelei leans against them, and Zer0 so tentatively slides an arm around his shoulders. Their body feels so stiff, and utterly without heat, but still, the pressure is nice for what it is.

“Yes,” says Zer0, with unbearable softness.

Which is precisely when Rhys stomps over, a stupid smile on his face. “Did no one wonder what happened to me?”

Zer0 doesn’t pull away, though their body does tighten against Lorelei’s. “Seven assassins, each felled swift like winter trees.” They wave a hand casually. “You're very welcome, Rhys.”

“Nah, I’m just messin’ with you. I knew you guys wouldn’t leave your poor old boss alone... and defenseless… and completely alone.” He plops down beside Lorelei in the grass, immediately plucking at handfuls of it. “Some night, huh?”

Lorelei snorts and wraps an arm around him, hauling him into the Zer0 cuddles, too. “Some night, all right. ‘Bout to be much better with all of _that_ behind us.”

Rhys giggles to himself, and he _reeks_ of champagne. “_How_ much better?”

“Well…” Lorelei peers up into his face, and maybe it’s the champagne sloshing in his own belly, but Rhys looks rather beautiful himself tonight. “Suppose we’ll all figure that one out together, right?”

Zer0 bumps the side of their helmet into Lorelei’s cheek. “To figuring it out, then.”

Lorelei grins and gives each of them a kiss on the cheek, or an approximation of one, in Zer0’s case. “To figuring it out!”

**Author's Note:**

> And then Rhys got the strap.


End file.
